Made by Chicago Guys, For Chicago Guys.

Theo Epstein Has a Stalker That Looks Really Smelly.

(Trib) – A Massachusetts woman previously warned to stay away from Chicago Cubs president Theo Epstein flew to Chicago to stalk him and was arrested after trying to bring a birthday gift for the family’s young son to his Lakeview home, prosecutors said in court today.

Bond was set at $75,000 for Kathleen Kearney, 44, who was charged with two felony counts of stalking after her arrest at about 6 p.m. Monday in the 1400 block of West Addison Street, about two blocks from Epstein’s five-bedroom home.

Everyone has that one President of Baseball Operations they would like to stalk right? I’m sure Billy Beane would have to fight off stalkers with a fire hose if he looked anything like Brad Pitt. (He absolutely does not! Worst casting since Tupac in Notorious)

But the fact of the matter is this, some women find Theo simply irresistible, especially ones that make their clothes out of tablecloths. It’s just too bad Theo’s stalkers look like slugs, must be some sort of Cubs effect. Kenny Williams is probably pulling in stalkers that look like Bar Refaeli (White Sox effect) Men look better in white and black, its science.

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